Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Hey guys! I hope you are all doing well. I am starting to get some relief from an abscessed tooth. I had a dentist visit for the first time since Keane (who is 6) was about 9 months! So over 5 years! The dentist gives me anxiety! What is funny is I'm not really afraid of pain. I don't know exactly what it is that makes me panicky but it defiantly does! But so does going to the doctor. out to eat, large groups of people.. and the list goes on unfortunately.
I have suffered from panic attacks since about 17 years of age.
There doesn't have to be a reason for my crippling anxiety.. sometimes it strikes out of nowhere and I just want to be at home. I have been at a point in my life where I could not leave my house without feeling like I was dying.. having a heart attack , all the blood rushing to my head, numbness and many more physical signs of anxiety and panic attacks. However, praise Jesus since I have had my wonderful babies I have not had an episode like that and only struggle periodically with the anxiety and don't feel stuck in a total agoraphobic state of panic.
So anyway I was informed today that I will need to get a tooth pulled and 3 root canals and crowning!! But they will do it in 2 visits. Again, its not the pain.. its more the feeling that Im gonna have anxiety which causes more anxiety and light headedness But I have to get the work done and keep asking myself what is the worst that could happen.
I know ther are meds for panic disorder and I have taken Lexapro but as a Mommy who refuses to take anything when pregnant or nursing that is not for me at the moment. So I live with it. And hopefully and prayerfully one day it will go away!

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